Denise Brinkmeyer

A Simple "No Cost" Action can Save Money and Heartache for Surviving Spouses

As most of you know, my father in law recently passed away.  Although his death was sudden and unexpected, he and my mother in law had taken many steps to prepare themselves for this situation. All of their legal documents and financial matters were in order.  Funeral services and decisions had been pre-arranged and documented.

Even still, here's the situation my mother in law faced last Monday.

We were at her house setting up her wireless router (so that we can use it when we visit) and needed access to the DSL account information.  After searching through paperwork we found the service provider phone number and began the process of explaining that we needed the information and the reason.

Problem, Mom's name was not on the account.

The gentleman was kind but did explain that their policy is to terminate the account once they receive word that the account holder has passed.  That simple phone call meant that she only had a couple of days to go to the retail store for the service provider with a copy of the death certificate or some other proof that enabled the account to be transferred to her.

The news is worse for the surviving spouse who doesn't have a credit history.

I mentioned this discussion to my friend and colleague Becky McGowan with the Oklahoma Department of Human Services Adult Protective Services and learned that this is a frequent occurrence.

In addition, not only does the surviving spouse have to jump through hoops to establish the account, if there is no credit history, he or she may be facing a deposit with the utility company regardless of how many years the account has been open previously and how faithfully it has been paid.

I have had this experience myself in calling Cox to report problems.  I've been told they cannot help me because my name is not on the account.

Once upon a time it meant something to say I'm Mrs. Alan Brinkmeyer, but in these days of heightened security and identify theft, that title is no longer recognized by our service providers.

We are now in the process of reviewing our accounts and adding my name to the account.  It's a little extra work now, but the frustration it prevents is worth the effort.

I hope my married friends and family take the same action.

Lessons We Can Learn from Border's Demise

Yesterday, I opened an email from Borders Books.

"A Fond Farewell, Thank You for Shopping at Borders."

Empathetically, I felt Mike Edwards, the CEO of Borders, sincere disappointment.  I felt genuine sadness for him.

The sinking of the great ship.  Goodbye, farewell.

As a great lover of books myself, I thought about my own experience with Borders Books.  In recent years I rarely frequented Borders for the reasons that most likely led to the demise of the company.

• I never believed I'd get the best discount from Borders
• I often found they did not have the book I wanted in stock
• I never became a customer online

I remember several years ago comparing Barnes & Noble's reward program with Borders.  I didn't really understand how Borders worked.  I would get coupons in my email which meant printing them and remembering to take them with me.  The 10% at B&N is easier to understand and calculate my savings, so B&N ususally had me when I needed the instant gratification of getting books today.

Speaking of instant gratification, I have visited both B&N and Borders in search of a book that had to be purchased online.  When I did buy online, I used B&N or Amazon.  Today, I satisfy the urgency with a Kindle download.  Amazon can thank Borders for the leg up on that one.  B&N has probably lost my online business for good.

I believe it was Border's failure to adapt that killed the company.  Not that it was incapable, but it was too busy enjoying it's success to see the warning signs.  When it did, it was too late.

It makes me think of the overlooked ice warning:

" In lat 42N to 41.25N long 49W to long 50.30W saw much heavy pack ice and great number of large icebergs also field ice. Weather good, clear."

I think the CEO of a company is the "captain of the ship" in most ways.  If you spend too much time enjoying your success, who is steering the ship?  

Information is moving at lightning speed, we can't afford to stop listening to all of the signals and warnings of what lies ahead. 

Adapt or die. 

That sounds terrible and ominous, but it has to be someone's job.  As the CEO, it's yours.

Securing Our Future Requires Dramatic Improvements to Education in Oklahoma

Thomas Jefferson in a letter to Edward Carrington, 1787 said:

"Cherish, therefore, the spirit of our people, and keep alive their attention. Do not be too severe upon their errors, but reclaim them by enlightening them. If once they become inattentive to the public affairs, you and I, and Congress, and Assemblies, Judges, and Governors, shall all become wolves. "

In the State of Oklahoma, the results of the 2010 election may indicate that the people of Oklahoma are paying attention enough to protect themselves from the wolf disguised as SQ 744.  While we defeated that wolf, there is another that is still there, still hungry and just waiting for the next time we aren't paying attention.

When the general society, good men and women alike, believe that enlightenment is best achieved by a public institution and they relinquish their involvement, then no improvement can be achieved.  

I don't blame the components of the system.  Public school teachers are among the most talented and dedicated people I've ever known.  As a former teacher, myself, I was proud to have such a noble profession.

Just the other day I came across the boxes of notes and pictures from my students.  They were my passion.  I faced every day with the anticipation that learning would happen.  Many, many times I was blessed to witness the "aha" moments of my students.  Very few moments in life compare to those.

I gave very little thought to the institution and refused to join the union.  And as much respect as I have for those like me, I cannot respect an institution that supports a paid day for teachers to lobby at the capitol.  It's the institution of public education in Oklahoma that is flawed.

So now, while more of us are paying attention, let's finish the job.

Someone once told me if you want a man to do a good job, give him a good job to do.  What is the job that must be done to ensure our children stay competitive not only nationally, but globally? We should radically change the institution by applying a catalyst for excellence. Competition.

The first step must be questioning the metrics.  When did grading our systems by how much money is spent become a measure for excellence? In private enterprise we judge performance on the net profit not the total expenditures.  The new legislation for grading our schools based on performance is a step in the right direction. 

Should we abandon public education? No, but let's shift the paradigm. When parents are free to choose which tax payer funded school will best serve their children, it becomes a buyer's market.  Choice shouldn't be limited to those who can afford private schools or special needs populations.  Choice should be available to everyone.

After all, it's our money.  It's your hard work and mine, taxed.  If I don't have any opportunity to speak about how my money is being spent, then I'm not living in the right country.

Even if you don't have children we're still talking about your grandchildren, your nieces and nephews, your neighbors children.  These are the people who will grow up and run the government in which you will live in your retirement years.

It's your money.  It's our money.  Have we become so numb to being taxed that we no longer count the money as ours?   Once it's gone to the government then we have no rights?  Can we not demand better service?

Maybe we've given up because we know what the response will be.  "Give us more money."

Every day small businesses are challenged to succeed through hard work and innovation.  Sure, they would like to have more money, but they don't.    Our free enterprise system rewards the resourceful and the competition in the market ensures that smart business succeeds.

It's time for the tax payers and consumers to demand more, demand better.  We need more choices.

Black Friday: I Wanted to Salute the American Flag

We are a young nation, yet this is an amazing experiment, our nation. The United States of America has power and strength recognized across the globe.  Even though recent leadership and policy development has taken us off course, I remain hopeful that the enterprising spirit of the American people will correctly steer us towards the nation that we were intended to be.

Yesterday was Black Friday.

My husband and I headed out at 6:30 am to pick up just a few of the "specials" offered at a couple of retail stores.  Thrilled by the early morning adventure with my husband beside me, I marvelled at the concept of Black Friday.

"Do you think our children know what the "Black" stands for?"

"No," my husband said.

I agreed.  While we have been involved in many conversations about budget and business, I don't think we ever spoke about it.

As we neared Best Buy, we opted to park in a neighboring parking lot and walk the extra distance for an "easy getaway."  The tv crews were still in front of the store with music blaring.  The whole scene looked like a carnival.

There were catering vendors selling hot drinks and food.  While I was not one of the many people who stood in long lines waiting for the store to open, I marveled and felt proud.

Pride? Why?

Because it was someone's idea to turn a situation into enterprise.  Long lines of people standing in the cold would need hot drink and food.  Even once the store had opened, there were still people buying drinks and food.  

The sun hadn't come up yet, but you never would have known.  The store was well lit, there were shoppers and clerks everywhere you turned, but it wasn't chaos.  

I have to applaud Best Buy for their staffing and overall orchestration of the event.  The floors were marked with tape for the special lines to check out.  There were staff assigned to keep the lines moving evenly and guide people who, without noticing the 200 people waiting, tried to go to straight to the front.  The crowd control was very well handled.  People treated each other with respect and were generally polite and kind.

On to the mall,  we took the back route in because the traffic on 71st street was already very heavy. 

Dillards wasn't open as we first arrived, but the parking lot near Macy's was nearly full.  The food court was bustling and although it was 7:30 am, people were buying much, much more than breakfast food.  You would have had no idea by looking that it was early morning with the sun just now rising.  My husband compared it to Las Vegas.

 As we completed our mission and drove away with our "deals."  I felt proud and hopeful.  Black Friday is so very "American".  On the day after our Thanksgiving holiday, while our minds are focused on our families, friends, and the events that led to our establishment of this great nation, we are at our very best. 

Whenever our policy makers try to steer us in the direction of other nations, they will fail.  However, when they remember that we are a people who are willing to work hard to adapt or to leverage an opportunity or enterprise, then they will get it right.   Even in acts of kindness to each other, the American people have the ability to demonstrate their greatness.

I am certain that I will hear that something terrible happened somewhere in the nation yesterday, on Black Friday. With 310,796,957 people in the nation, it's hard to think that something awful didn't occur. 

Even so, the bad news won't cloud my opinion of who we are and what we still have in front of us to achieve.

Who Can Fix Education?

When a system is broken, should the components of that system design the new system? 

They say if you want to be successful at something, look at those who are successful now, and do what they do.

Wow.  What they do is a lot of work.  

I know.  Let's get more money.  If we have more money we can fix the problem without changing the way we do things now.

Who has the money? Why do they have money?  Oh, that doesn't matter or apply to us.  Let's not listen to successful innovators who can apply brilliant thinking to improve our situation. I don't care about designing models and systems for self sustainment.  I need cash.

Why do our children ever grow up and leave home?  We foster a sense of independence and teach them skills to become self-sustaining.   If we do not, our children become dependent and develop a sense of entitlement.

And we are to blame.  If your unemployed thirty year old lays around on the coach eating potato chips (that you purchased) all day then you are to blame for allowing it.  Of course he will be angry and upset when you say enough is enough.  Of course he will feel betrayed, and you will have to bear it.  You'll have to be willing to help him through the process.  But it's a lot of work for you.

That's where we are with education today.  The representatives of the education system come to the table waiting to be served.  Have they ever said, we have enough and things are great?  They always know what will fix the situation, more money.

Hear me clearly.  I was a teacher and can affirm with all certainty that teachers are hard working people.  People, however, are collectively afraid of change.

So, when a few committed supporters outside of the system say:

"There is no money, so let's explore other options"

The result is fear and panic. 

Just like the thirty year old who doesn't know what will happen if he can't lay on the couch eating potato chips.  It was the world he knew.  What if it changed?  What would happen?  Maybe something great??

Maybe.

Join our JUMP & Friends team for the Stop Child Trafficking Now community walk on October 2nd from 9am to 11am at Riverwalk. It's $10 to sign up. Our team signup page is here: http://sctnow.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.team&eventID=635&teamID=5948

Please help us reach our fundraising goal and raise awareness of this terrible crime.

What Will Unemployment's Impact Have on Our Trophy Kids?

Last night my husband and I had dinner with some friends whose 25 year old son was now living at home after college struggling with underemployment.  My husband and I often talk about how when we graduated from college in the mid-80s we faced the same challenges of underemployment and struggle to provide for ourselves.  Work at TG&Y, substitute teaching, ... whatever our generation had to do until we landed "THE job."  THE JOB, the thing that made our investment in 4 years of undergraduate studies worthwhile.  We swap stories and laugh with our peers about the struggle.

The problem facing today's college graduates is that we've raised them to think that their ideas are better than anyone else's ideas.  By giving them a trophy for every competition they've entered, they never really learn what true competition is about. 

Don't get me wrong, I've always encouraged my kids to try new things and stick with it if they have a passion for it.  There's a lot of winning in simply trying.  However, by over emphasizing the value of "try" we've created a culture of mediocrity and a generation that doesn't understand that being the best means so much more than having skill.  It means guaranteeing the win by doing everything you can.  Being on time or early, having the humility to acknowledge the importance of other people and their ideas, showing initiative, following through on promises...

As an employer, I see job applicants with the same degree handing me portfolios with very similar college projects.  Those are just the basic requirements to get the interview, to "try."  To "win" means you are going to make me believe that you will be more committed, more punctual, more intelligent, show more initiative and character than any other applicant I'm interviewing. 

At the current unemployment rate, today's college graduates are facing a similar or worse climate than college graduates in the early 80s.  The difference is their overall lack of preparation to be critical thinkers, to struggle and fight to get ahead.

In September of 2008,I posted a rant about the superior attitudes of young women today and predicted that a serious economic event would wake them up to the harsh reality that my generation understands very well.  I wonder how those "have it all" young moms are faring today. 

The Naive Generation

I struggled with the title of the post, but I can find no better to word to express my idea. Last Saturday's Wall Street Journal had an opinion piece about Sarah Palin. The two young women (and I assume they are younger than me since they indicated that Sarah was from an older generation) who authored the piece expressed ideas that agitated me so much that my husband wishes I hadn't read it. They advanced the notion that Sarah and her Super-mom counterparts were not the model for today's young mother. They explained that women of their generation were much more balanced by making more time for themselves and their families with career taking a smaller role in their weekly time allocation. While their attitude is indeed balanced, what worries me is the naive belief that their careers will remain in tact. They advanced the idea that not only do businesses benefit from women in leadership (an idea I embrace), but that businesses had better be careful or they would find themselves without these women leaders. Businesses that make no concessions for family time and flexibility would suffer the consequences as this generation holds all of the cards.

I am extremely concerned about the naive attitude that employees hold so much power that businesses ought to yield to their demands. While that might be true in a sellers market, what does this younger generation know about a buyer's market? Will they be prepared when the rules change? At the end of the day Darwinian theory wins out. The strongest, fastest, smartest win. American businesses will continue to grow based on survival of the fittest. I fear mediocrity will ultimately bring painful lessons in business, but maybe that's what should happen. On the other hand, when family is more important, than careers should take a back seat. At the end of the day, I've never known anyone who has "had it all" without some sacrifice.