Yesterday morning, Bartlesville, Oklahoma lost a long time resident, and our family lost its patriarch, Francis M. Brinkmeyer. Without warning, we are without Alan's dad, Pop.
Brink, as he preferred to be called, was a Phillips retiree with an active social life in the Bartlesville community. Of his 77 years, there is a lot to say, but I will let his obituary list his many activities and achievements. The revolving door of visitors and supporters at mom's house (including the countless casserole dishes) are a testament to how many people loved him.
And while I am aware that many, many people could line up to talk about Brink for many years before I ever knew him, I feel compelled to speak about who he was to me and my family.
I met Brink and Carolyn in 2002 when Alan and I were dating. Alan had described his father as a strict disciplinarian, but always a loving father. He added that over the years his father had turned into a softie, and "definitely was not the same man who raised me."
The minute I met the two of them I was struck by how very sweet and sincere Brink and Carolyn were. I recognized some of Alan's most endearing qualities as those inherited from each of his parents.
Alan called his dad, "Pop." I soon adopted the name as well because I truly loved my new in-laws as parents. Pop was clever and intelligent. More than that, he was an advocate.
You could tell him about a goal or a project. Of course he had advice for you, but it was always served with a smile and twinkle that said, "I believe in you."
I think that is what struck me most. He was successful in his own right and worthy of respect. But even more than that, he loved us and believed in us. And that earned not only respect but our sincere devotion.
His grandchildren will miss his stories and card games. His three sons will miss an amazing father. I will miss the smile and simple gestures he made during every story or lecture.
He was taken from us very suddenly, but life is always so uncertain. I am grateful for the decade I spent as a member of his family, and every time I think of him, I will remember to love and support my family the way he did. Thank you, Pop, for all of the love. I will miss you.
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